I'm depressed.......not for reasons you would think!

You ask why I am depressed?  Nothing related to the cancer but yet - this upcoming weekend is the last weekend of NFL football for 6 months - what am I going to do?  (GO RAVENS!)  I could watch baseball but it will only because of Uncle David and the KC Royals.  I am anxious for the draft in April and hopefully that will carry me until the training camps start in July.  I know it may seem ridiculous with all that's been going on but honestly, I look forward to the games.  I will still have all my Duck Dynasty reruns on and new episodes will start in March so that will help some.

As most of you know, yes all my hair is gone.  It actually doesn't bother me at all.  I think God blessed women with the ability to lose their hair because who in the hell would want to stand in the bathroom and fix their hair when they feel like they do.  I have enjoyed shorter showers and no shaving.  Granted, you have all the other crap that comes along with chemo but hey - its working.  I saw my doctor on Friday, labs were stable, seeing changes in the breast itself but not the skin.  Of course, only I would be a non-typical patient who would have stubborn skin.  She offered me a mammogram and ultrasound mid-way to see how things are progressing but what's the point.  It won't change my treatment whatsoever.  I don't want to go through it until I have to after what happened last time.

3 red devil treatments down, 1 more of her and then I get to switch drugs for 4 more cycles - that's the plan for now.  I'm excited to not have to have the red devil and her evil stepsister after my next treatment.  I think that will be my first mini-celebration for myself as the next set of drugs are supposed to be better for the nausea.  There are other side effects but if I can avoid nausea for awhile, I'll be happy.

I can't ask for a better husband - he is maintaining the house, our family, and our sanity.  He truly is the piece holding all of us together.  I think its harder on him than it is me because of everything he is doing for us.  The boys are being so sweet and loving.  Gregg, the boys, our family and friends - I can't thank all of you enough for the support you have shown me and us.  We don't know how to repay everyone - its almost impossible - we are just overwhelmed with support, love, and prayers.  We love you all so much!

GO RAVENS!