I apologize upfront for not writing - its been awhile and I am sorry. I have good reasons as I have been busy living my life to the fullest since my last chemo. Yes, you heard me LAST. I had my last treatment on April 5th - the day after my birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! All I can say is - it went out with a bang - literally. It caused me to be so sick I spent 3 days in infusion getting fluids and potassium. I was so glad to be done with it that it wanted its final way with me. Thus, the reason I 100% dedicate the song, DONE by The Band Perry to my bitch of a friend, Chemo.
I was able to see my surgeon, Dr. Styblo, and plastic surgeon, Dr. Losken. After meeting these two doctors, my head was in a whirlwind due to all of the information they provided me. Expander or no expander; 1 breast now, 2 breasts later; TRAM flap or no tram flap. I kept saying why is the choice up to me - why can't someone make the choice for me....well, my prayer was answered and my radiation oncologist, Dr. Torres, did just that. After meeting with her, she decided it was best for my treatment and overall health to have no expander and only do 1 breast at this time. We are still removing both, just not at this time. See - the problem is, the cancer is in my lymphatics so as a result she has to heavily treat me with radiation. She expects skin burn and skin breakdown. If it doesn't happen, radiation gets turned up. I am at a VERY high risk for getting an infection so she decided NO expander. After she and Dr. Styblo spoke, it was 1 breast now. Of course, those who know me, know how PISSED I was. And when I'm mad, I cry. So yes, I cried. I'm not afraid to admit it. I was so mad - as Gregg says, I just didn't get my way :) And, yes, he's right. I had a plan and again, we changed it. But, I know they are doing the best thing for me medically and I came to accept that very quickly. (God grant me the serenity to accept those things I CANNOT change...) I go for pre-op today and surgery is TOMORROW. LEFTIE goes BUH BYE tomorrow.
After seeing my doctors, they did tell us we could go to Disney for a few days so we packed up and headed to Disney. I think I was more excited to see Mickey than the boys were. Gregg of course was so happy to be at his favorite place - NOT! All he saw was $ going down the drain but I know deep down, he was happy to see his family happy and not give a damn about anything else. It was a great trip and it was so nice to get away and not think about anything related to everything going on around us. We created some good memories and although tired at the end, it was so needed.
On a side note, this past Thursday night, I tried to walk on water and I proved to not be Holy as I fell right down on my knee and ended up having to seek services at AOC again :) Ended me up in a knee immobilizer and crutches - some people not naming any names (Joe) thought I needed a wheelchair but I will go with crutches thank you. It is feeling better but for some reason, it doesn't want to bend too well without pain. I will be fine, I have to get Leftie cut off first.
Logan's baseball team is undefeated for the season, 11-0. We had a great season and wait for what the tournament holds in 2 weeks. He got the game ball last night and I was one proud mama. He had an amazing game, caught a pop at 1st, made a killer play for a guy running home, and slid under the 3rd baseman who tried to tag him out and was safe. I kept saying I wanted to run out there and kiss him but knew I would do nothing but embarrass him. Grayson is really enjoying Tackle Baseball at this point, he only has 3 more games and then no tournament. We signed them both up for football and Logan is already drawing up plays for his future coach. Grayson on the other hand doesn't understand why he can't be Logan's offensive lineman to protect him on the field.
Oh - that brings me to another point - Logan and I drove Gregg and Grayson crazy with the draft. Logan and I would fight over the NFL Draft tracker on my phone as Gregg wouldn't let us turn it on at the house. I am excited about the Falcons new picks and think they picked well. I would have liked to see more Alabama representation but its ok. Quite upset over where Jarvis Jones went but at least it wasn't the Saints (sorry Saints fans). We bid farewell to the Robertsons in their season finale which was quite funny I might add. It was so funny - Si with the Mayan obsession and then Jase taking his own jungle adventure. Willie in the sarong - ha ha - reminds me of Uncle CR in my pink life jacket when we had the pontoon! I will have to watch all the DD reruns during my surgery recovery.
I get overwhelmed with all the love and support our family and friends have given us. My Florida family held a party in honor of me and shipped me an awesome box of PINK presents. I loved everything from my I love Boobies bracelet that I wear proudly to my socks, PJs, bath and body goodies and my flask that proudly states, I didn't text you, Vodka texted you..... My work and the boys' school has provided us with endless amounts of food and an insurmountable amount of love and support towards our boys for their good and bad days through all of this. Our family and friends who have been there no matter what and done whatever and whenever we needed. I was most recently touched deeply by the prayer service held at work yesterday. I of course cried again because I was overwhelmed with the love and support by those who I work with. We truly are a family at AOC and I can't thank everyone there enough. We have a huge army behind us in this fight and I couldn't be more blessed. I hope I don't let this much time lapse before next time we talk, until then, much love to all and thank you again for everything.
