I REFUSE!

I apologize that its been awhile since I posted last.  I try to always post after each treatment but needless to say that Red Devil bitch really kicked my ass this last time.  I would love to say everything was wonderful and great, but then I would be lying to all of us.  You all know I do not add fluff to a situation - I always cut right through the BS and say it like it is - some don't like it but its who I am.  Needless to say, it took me a good full week to get to feeling somewhat normal again.  I was very mad as I refuse to be weak - I refuse to let it get me down - I refuse to let it get the best of me.  On Thursday after treatment, I was at my worst.  It was stupid that some medicine could make you feel so bad.  I knew I couldn't go through another day feeling like I had so I told God no matter what, Friday was going to be better.  And you know what, it was.  It wasn't great but it was better and that was all I needed to be ok.  To know this was not going to get the best of me.

I felt so bad for Gregg.  I think he made more trips back and forth to Athens than he has in his lifetime.  He had to miss school one night which I absolutely hated but I knew I needed him home.  I knew it was a night I could not take care of the kids and myself.  That's not me at all - again, I was mad but there was Gregg, ready and willing.  He is being so strong through all of this.  I honestly could not ask for a better husband, father and best friend.  He is there for us no matter what and taking care of everything we need him to do.  Even if it means going to Home Depot to get tile that he doesn't want to buy for our current home project :)

I don't know how many of you watch Duck Dynasty but I am counting down the days until the new seasons start.  February 27th.  Can't wait.  Team Jase all the way.  The numerous repeats on A&E have been a huge help to getting me through my rough days as it makes me laugh at all the crazy things that happen.  It's a great show and I highly recommend you start watching it if you haven't.

This weekend is also the NFL Combine so of course we will be watching that.  Logan can't wait to see how some of the players do - he says it will help him decide who is going where in the draft.  He's especially excited to see Lacy the Beast and how he performs.  Grayson is excited to see Jarvis Jones.  Why am I not surprised - divided house as usual.  Me - well I will enjoy the nice UnderArmour gear worn by all the players :)  We all know we are watching to see who the Falcons might end up with come the draft - we need a pass rusher.  Again, Logan has it all planned out as to who and what we need.  I will have to follow his lead and trust his judgement on this.  Any boy that watches NFLam 7 days in and out, I think he knows more than I do about the NFL and I'm pretty bad.

I love each and every one of you.  All of you are part of my fight and I cannot thank you enough.  We are so grateful for all of your love, prayers and support for our family during this time.  I hope to get some answers about my skin and if my doctor thinks I will truly be done with chemo at the end of 16 weeks or will I need more.  I need to know.  Again, no BS, just honesty.  Tomorrow is cycle 5.  I switch to Taxol and I have heard good and bad things.  I am going to focus on the good because nothing can be as bad as that evil red devil.  Earlier this week, I honestly was dreading going back for more but now I'm ready.  I'm ready to tackle this bitch and knock her ass out.  I will NOT let it get the best of me.